Two of the greatest loves of my life were discovered at a Young Life Camp the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school. One of them as you can guess was Jesus. The other was coffee. They pulled out all of the stops at this camp and had a giant coffee bar with every creamer and topping you could imagine. It was love at first taste. The camp was pivotal in my faith journey and was one of the first places where I really experienced a vibrant and alive form of Christianity. I had come with my Catholic youth group which was incredibly unique in and of itself. I’m pretty sure it was the first and only time the youth group ever went to that kind of camp, and it changed my life. It was really at that point in my life when I began to associate coffee with Jesus, and it’s been a steady theme for me. Later in life after college I spent a two year internship in Hungary as a missionary where I would meet dozens of students at coffee shops and cafes to share my faith or do bible students. After my time in Hungary,  I worked at a Starbucks before becoming a teacher.  God used that job to not only restore my soul after a brutal overseas experience but to help me discover a passion for making coffee.

Several years ago, when my husband, Ryan, and I were in the beginning stages of our dating relationship, we decided to do exercise challenges. We were dating long distance, and it seemed like a fun way to try to be fit and do something together. I found some 30 day challenges that had you build up a little more endurance/reps each day until you reached the final goal on day 30. They seemed doable and so we tried out various challenges for a good 4 to 5 months.  We would call each other up, set a timer and then while we did something crazy like a 5 minute plank, Ryan would find funny Dad jokes and read them to me. It was a good way to connect and I liked that we were doing something active together despite being in different cities.

This week my husband headed out of state for his job. He travels quite a bit, at least a ⅓ of every month, to do his work, which involves school assemblies during the day and then sharing the Gospel with students at a free community concert in the evenings. It’s work I believe in and absolutely support. We’ve been married for 8 ½ years so I’m also used to the routine of him coming and going each week. I even traveled with him the first two years of marriage. I quickly discovered life on the road wasn't for me, but it was good for us as we established life as newly weds. It helped me understand the grueling nature of what he does and also how important the work is. When I went off the road, I was able to comfortably manage the rhythm of him being home and out again. 

My weekly visit to a local coffee shop recently brought me across this sign, “Be the one who decided to go for it.” I was reflecting on this idea in relation to our Magnify Missions Workshops. We’re moving into our fourth cohort, and I was thinking about our process of finding participants. We have to invite about 8-10 people to each workshop before we find the right people to fill 3 spots. To my surprise there are a lot of people who have every reason to attend (go for it), but don’t. I can see their potential. I know the workshop would help move them forward whether in their ministry, business or personal life, but for whatever reason they pass on the opportunity.  The book, Good to Great, by Jim Collins provided some helpful context for me in regards to this issue. What makes a person go for it?  I think it’s those who are willing to go from good to great. It’s taken us about two years to figure out who our people are and how to find them. We’ve landed on what I call our solution criteria, which are the qualities and/or factors that have helped us identify our audience and clarify the focus of our work. Our journey is not unique, but the lessons we have learned can definitely be shared and applied by other ministries and businesses.

I’m in the middle of what some would call the trenches of parenting. Our little girl, Isabella, turned 2 in July, and we began potty training about two weeks ago. I regularly meet with a friend, who is a mama that is much farther along than me. She has a kid in college, two in high school, and one in elementary school. She consistently has great advice and wisdom in the parenting process and having gone through (and survived) this stage with four kids, I trust and respect her insight. She’s reiterated to me many times that this stage of kiddos (ages 1-4) is by far one of the most stressful because you are daily trying to keep them alive. All that being said, as we transitioned into what many people call the “terrible 2’s”, I decided to encounter it with a mindset of the “terrific 2’s”.

I don’t know how much you know about the Enneagram. Some people see it as a bit of a fad or others put a little too much stock in it. However, I like to land right in the middle and see it as a tool for better understanding my God given design as well as how He has made others. A few years ago, my boss invested in each of his employees taking the Enneagram test in order to help us grow personally and professionally. I found the assessment to be extremely helpful for better understanding and appreciating my strengths and weaknesses. All that being said, I landed on the “1”, the Perfectionist. I bring that up because I regularly am thinking about how just about anything can be improved or made more “perfect”. I struggle when I encounter mediocrity or even slight errors that could be easily corrected. The downfall of the “1” is that they are also supercritical not only of others but of themselves as well.

It’s one of those beautiful Indiana evenings - the kind where there’s a certain stillness to all of the activity as the sun gently sets leaving a golden light that fades into pale hues of pink, orange and blue. The birds are singing their songs and calling out to another. I hear a mourning dove coo and even farther away I hear an orchestra of frogs sounding off. After a long day of work much of which involved keeping a toddler alive, I’m on my porch soaking it all in. I take a deep breath and let the song, which feels much like a prayer, sweep over me. “Yes,” I think to myself, “creation is praying, and I get to hear it.” It is a holy moment, and I experience God’s presence in it. It’s a deeper connection, a reminder that He is with me - as close as my breath.

Years ago, when I was just out of college I lived and worked overseas with a ministry. I had a discipler who told me every decision I made was either taking me towards Christ or away from Christ. While my experience overseas was a challenging one and I actually didn’t connect well with my discipler, that particular lesson has stuck with me in life. I’ve witnessed and experienced the reality that little decisions add up and ultimately build up into bigger choices and life habits. I’ve seen friends and family members lose sight of or simply walk away from their faith because they stopped doing the little things that pointed them to Jesus and kept him as a priority in their lives.

I love breakfast! I pretty much love everything about it - coffee, eggs, bacon - definitely bacon and the carbs - muffins, scones, bagels, English muffins, pancakes, waffles - did I mention bacon? I could eat it for three meals a day (and I have before). In fact I love breakfast so much that for our wedding, we decided to serve breakfast foods. It was fabulous! I make a point to never skip it, and while I love eating it, I also equally love making it. In fact I am an avid brunch connoisseur. Give me a city and I will hunt down the best place to eat breakfast or for those later days brunch. My mom was and still is a phenomenal baker, so homemade bread, muffins, biscuits, cinnamon rolls were a regular part of my childhood. I still have an incredible love for baked goods - give me a muffin or scone any day over a cookie or cake. I’ve come to realize that one of the reasons I love breakfast/brunch so much is because my parents made it special for us growing up.

I find myself operating out a sense of routines and rhythms. It’s how the seasons and time flow, so it seems logical that I would be living out of those same patterns. We’re in the Lenten season, which is a time that is filled with meaning and significance to me not only because we celebrate the resurrection, but because it was my father’s favorite season. With his passing over a decade ago, I found myself more drawn to this time and the sense of death, rebirth, and new life. I always want this time of year to be more intentionally focused and have the same sense of celebration as I do in Advent. As a result, I’ve tried to find devotionals and practices that lead me to be more contemplative and have a similar build up to Easter as we do to Christmas. Now that I have a little girl, I find myself thinking about ways to make this time meaningful for her as well.

As the dust settles after a loss, you try to pick up the pieces. Normal life seems to have momentarily paused, and as you reenter you try to pick up the familiar rhythms - like cooking, working out, paying bills etc. What got dropped in the midst of the loss, and what needs to get picked back up? You feel as if you should get some more space and time to process it all and reconcile how life will look now that your loved one is gone. As I shared in my last blog, we lost my father-in-law, Papa Payne, last month, and after being in Pennsylvania for 21 of the 29 days in February, we’re finally back home in Indiana. I find myself more relaxed as a result, more exhausted-it’s quieter and there’s less commotion-but also freer to reflect on all that has happened. I also have a sense of gratitude for walking through an experience where I saw my father-in-law pass with dignity and witnessed him prepare for dying well.

It’s a rare day in February-the 29th. The sun is filtering through the window as I write. When I left the house this morning birds were happily chirping, and I saw some green popping up through the garden bed. Both animals and plants alike were singing and rising up despite the chill in the air and the cold that would keep them quiet and hidden away. It brought to mind the verses in 1 Corinthians 15: 55-56,“ ‘Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” No winter is forever, and the whisperings of spring remind me of the power of the resurrection. These are the same verses that I read this past weekend at my father-in-law's funeral, so they are both on my mind and heart. Hearing stories about his life and seeing the outpouring of people who came to celebrate him was both beautiful and impactful.

I see it everywhere-the store, the car, shopping, the gas station, family gatherings, coffee dates-the constant fixation on the phone or now watch (thank you Apple). My personal pet peeve is when a family is out to dinner or even worse a couple is out on what appears to be a date and both of them are on their phones. What an incredible waste of time and a missed opportunity for connection. My most recent encounter with this growing social epidemic was at a Christmas concert. We were in a beautiful local theater surrounded by hundreds of people. We were watching an acapella group, who have amazing vocal talent, humor, and put on an incredible show all involving media and choreography. You would think it would keep people’s attention. However the girl sitting in front of me could not pay attention AT ALL.

Recently my colleague and I were having a coaching session with a client who shared that she and her team were all feeling that they wanted to do all of the things in ministry because they love them. Our client was sharing about how much she enjoys doing social media, but how much she truly loves discipling young women and having them in her home. However in addition to this work, she was also singlehandedly running her ministry’s social media, and managing a coffee shop. It was obvious this pace of life and work wasn’t sustainable, but she was still holding on to the possibility of doing all three jobs. In turn my colleague responded that if you DON’T want to grow and DO want to burn out then keep doing that.

I am terrible at relaxing. It’s true. Just ask my husband. When it’s evening and we’re winding down for the day I have at least 5-10 items I’m trying to complete before I actually settle down on the couch to watch an episode of anything with him. It takes me a good 30-40 minutes to get ready for bed and then another 30 minutes to fall asleep. He actually just told me yesterday that he’s seen me take 10 minutes worth of bedtime prep and stretch it across an hour.

I remember a season in my life when I had to do a significant amount of fundraising in order to go overseas and accomplish the work I felt passionately called to. I had just graduated college and was incredibly inspired to get out into the world and go be a missionary. At the time I thought I would be living and doing ministry overseas for the rest of my life. I was preparing myself for a lifetime of raising funds, asking for donations, and financially depending on other people.

Years ago when I was in college, I had my first real and vivid encounters with the Bible and ultimately with Jesus. I remember being taught and learning strategies for engaging in God’s word-one of which was to imagine the scenes we were reading about. I can recall that the Bible felt alive and active as I read the words off the page, but my imagination seemed to fail me on some level when it came to putting myself into the scene or visualizing what was going on.

When I think of hurrying, the picture of the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland comes to mind. He’s scurrying around, looking at this watch and almost in a panic. He barely pays attention to the other people around him and instead rushes off saying the memorable words, “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”

Recently my in-laws were visiting from out of state. Along with all of their luggage and gear, my father-in-law brought 7-8 boxes of old photo albums that needed to be sorted. His own mother had recently transitioned out of her home, and he was spearheading the slow removal of a lifetime of her possessions. His goal during their 6 day visit was to sort through and take out all of the pictures from every photo album. I watched him literally spend hours sitting in our lazy boy in the living room sorting through each album.

It’s the end of the month again-how did that happen so fast? You’ve been coordinating a mission trip for the last few weeks, meeting one-on-one with college students for discipleship, and helping run a youth program. A LOT has happened, and you are reflecting on all of the amazing things God has done. Then it hits you, it’s time to do a ministry newsletter. It’s going to take forever to cover all of this.