Building Habits at Home - Part 1: Habits of Faith
By: Sara Payne, Magnify Missions Coach
Email: sara@magnifymissions.com
I find myself operating out a sense of routines and rhythms. It’s how the seasons and time flow, so it seems logical that I would be living out of those same patterns. We’re in the Lenten season, which is a time that is filled with meaning and significance to me not only because we celebrate the resurrection, but because it was my father’s favorite season. With his passing over a decade ago, I found myself more drawn to this time and the sense of death, rebirth, and new life. I always want this time of year to be more intentionally focused and have the same sense of celebration as I do in Advent. As a result, I’ve tried to find devotionals and practices that lead me to be more contemplative and have a similar build up to Easter as we do to Christmas. Now that I have a little girl, I find myself thinking about ways to make this time meaningful for her as well. Even though she isn’t quite two years old, I still see the value and importance of having regular traditions and routines that highlight the meaning and importance of the season we’re in. This has led me to think on a deeper level about how I can incorporate meaningful practices into our daily lives so we pause, notice, and reiterate the truth of the Gospel in our daily lives.
A Liturgical Background
I grew up Catholic so I am familiar with the idea of rituals and routines within the context of church and even outside of church. Even though I am no longer a practicing Catholic, I still find much value in the symbolism and beauty in the repetition of some of those rituals. There is something important and significant about practices that reiterate the sacred truths of our faith. After a long break from the legalism and coldness I experienced in the Catholic church, I found myself in my mid to late twenties drawn back to some of its liturgical elements. I began attending a church that had a liturgical worship service including pieces such as Confession and Repentance that were repeated each week. I found great comfort in these elements, and I find I am still drawn to these kinds of practices. In more recent years, I’ve had a growing interest in the idea of liturgy. I was introduced to the prayer book Every Moment Holy, and began making some of those prayers (A Liturgy for the Ritual of Morning Coffee and A Liturgy for First Waking) a part of my daily routine. If you haven’t heard of this book, I highly recommend it. Two other versions have come out since I first began reading these, and they are filled with beautiful, worshipful prayers for every kind of moment in a day. So when I came across a book recommendation titled, Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley, I was immediately interested in it. As I began reading it, I was resounding with the author’s perspective on habits. He noted, “...habits are kinds of liturgies. They are little routines of worship, and worship changes what we love. Habits of the household are not just actions that form our families’ routines, they are liturgies that form our families’ hearts.” This put to words what I had started contemplating in the months prior. I wanted to actively form my little girl’s heart and to make the commonplace routines a way to point us to Jesus.
Family Devotions - Daily Habits
My husband and I both have our routine and version of quiet time that we regularly practice. He reads the Bible on his phone the moment he wakes up in the morning. I prefer to get dressed, make breakfast, brew my coffee and sit down for thirty minutes in my office. I love that we each have our own way of connecting with the Lord, but I knew we needed to start modeling this for our little girl. We pray with her at meals and each night before bed. We also have a few books that we regularly read to her which reiterate our faith. One of my favorites that outlines the Gospel story for a little one is The Biggest Story ABC. I also have loved ending each night of bedtime books with Thank You God Good Night, which has been a great way to teach prayer and gratitude from the very start. I had started thinking about ways to make daily devotions a part of my time with Isabella. As I was diving into Habits of the Household I found that the author was reiterating this same point while also providing examples for how to incorporate faith elements and habits into every part of the day. He wrote, “We don’t often think about habits and the heart being so interconnected. But they are. To steward the habits of your family is to steward the hearts of your family.” I could see this in my own personal habits, but now with kids I was seeing the significance of creating those habits for my children too. I began to think about our morning routine and how to make a habit of devotions with my little one. I had heard of the homeschool concept of a “morning basket” and the idea of having a collection of books and devotions to go through with your children each morning. My husband had also texted me with a link to a podcast that mentioned a series called FatCat Books. He is definitely not the spender in the family, so when he told me we should buy them, I jumped at the opportunity. As I explored the books online, I found that FatCat books were developed to help children understand and learn the rich catechism of our Christian faith. These books outline The Ten Commandments, The Lord’s Prayer, and The Apostles Creed. With my new books in hand, I found a basket, grabbed our copy of the Jesus Calling Bible Storybook by Sarah Young and thus began our morning devotions! In Habits of the Household , Justin Whitmel Earley writes, “The most Christian way to think about our households is that they are little ‘schools of love’, places where we have one vocation, one calling: to form all who live here into lovers of God and neighbor.” Coming from an education background, I really loved thinking about my home as a ‘school of love’. Our morning devotions were one type of lesson in this school. What I have loved about this time is the regularity of reiterating the truths of our faith each morning. I look forward to getting out the books and sharing this time with Isabella. I like seeing her reactions to the pictures and reading the child’s version of the Bible stories. There is something powerful in starting the day with sharing the foundation of what we believe. This time is as valuable to me as it is to her because she isn’t the only one that needs reminders to love God and love people.
Family Devotions - Seasonal Habits
As a former English teacher, I gravitate towards anything that symbolizes a deeper meaning or points to a more complicated truth. I love art and visuals that convey a story or message. I’ve become quite a fan of the artist, Scott Erickson, who has illustrated several prayer books. Prayer: Forty Days of Practice is one of my favorites. A few years ago, I came across his Stations in the Street that could be purchased by churches and put on display for the community. Our church was willing to invest in it and for the last few years, the art work has been put up on church grounds for the community to view. Last year around this time I started looking for a teaching tool to highlight the Lenten season within our own home. Again I wanted the days leading up to Easter to have meaning and be special in the way that Advent does. The commercialized version of Advent and Lent are all about gifts and rewards not the deep spiritual roots and true meaning of the season. I was also strongly motivated to keep focused on making our faith as visual and tangible as possible after hearing a story about a family celebrating Advent with their little boy by buying a Hot Wheels Advent calendar and giving him a new car every day leading up to Christmas. I kept thinking about all of the lost opportunity and even the misguided focus on materialism. As a side note, if you’re looking for a way to build a meaningful Advent tradition with your little ones I recommend The Story of Christmas Story Book Set and Advent Calendar and for older children I recommend The 25 Days of Christmas: A Family Devotional to Help You Celebrate Jesus. Another resource that I’m looking to add to our collection are Advent Blocks. In my searching I finally found a lovely set of prints on Etsy, called Easter Story Cards, that I could download myself. I had the files sent to our local print shop and laminated. I put them on display last year for Isabella to see, but I was more excited about doing them this year because I knew she would better understand and be able to be more engaged. These cards have been added to our morning devotion time, and again I find that doing them has been an important reminder to me of the story of the cross and Jesus' resurrection.
Children of God
Again I am struck by how much I need these habits and rhythms for my own soul. Justin Whitmel Earley hits on this point in Habits of the Household writing, “Our best parenting comes when we think less about being parents of children and more about being children of God.” I am needing the reassurance of a loving father even more so these days. I miss my own father in this season, and our family is still recovering from losing my husband’s father last month. I continue to be faced and at times bombarded with moments of doubt and not knowing what to do as a person, a wife, and a parent. Just this week I was navigating how to give my little girl medicine she absolutely needed but refused to take. Here I am literally wrestling this little girl to get some portion of medicine in her mouth. My husband was at work, and I had no good options for making this work. I kept praying for wisdom and some kind of insight that would help me make it all work. After we managed a dose, she was covered in medicine as was I, and looking at me with tears she said, “Hold you.” I could entirely relate. As I swept her into my arms and hugged her tightly, I sank into my heavenly Father’s arms relieved to have made it through. I think these habits of faith reinforce this truth that I have a loving father, that He is holding me, that I am His child. My little girl needs those daily reminders and reassurances and so do I.
To get started on building your own habits of faith download Building Habits of Faith at Home, which is filled with the resources I mentioned above as well as others that I personally like or that I’m hoping to add to our family collection.
Sara Payne is first and foremost a beloved child of God. She likes to surround herself with people who love Jesus, be out in nature, work out, cook, and drink delicious cups of coffee. She is married to Ryan, an amazing man who loves Jesus, and also is (in her opinion) a rock star with a band called Attaboy. They have one beautiful little girl named Isabella, who is a joy and delight! Sara’s first job after college was as a missionary serving overseas in Budapest, Hungary. She then transitioned into being a full time English teacher in a PBL school on the south side of Indianapolis, IN. There her mission field was high school students. After getting married, she worked for Magnify Learning as a Branding Manager and PBL facilitator. Since becoming a mama, she now works for Magnify Missions where she is able to combine her love of missions and teaching to serve and coach missionaries around the world.
