Letting Go of What You Love
By: Sara Payne, Magnify Missions Coach
Email: sara@magnifymissions.com
Recently my colleague and I were having a coaching session with a client who shared that she and her team were all feeling that they wanted to do all of the things in ministry because they love them. Our client was sharing about how much she enjoys doing social media, but how much she truly loves discipling young women and having them in her home. However in addition to her discipleship work, she was also singlehandedly running her ministry’s social media and managing a coffee shop. It was obvious this pace of life and work wasn’t sustainable, but she was still holding on to the possibility of doing all three jobs. In turn my colleague responded that if you DON’T want to grow and DO want to burn out then keep doing that. It was a simple and practical statement, but it captured the probable future outcome of this young missionary and her team if they stayed on their current course. Most people have the head knowledge that they can’t do all things well, but the practical application of that truth is often overlooked or ignored. There was only one man who could (and still does) all things well…Jesus. It makes me wonder-why are we drawn to doing so much, and why do we think other aspects of our lives or ministries won’t suffer from that pattern of behavior?
Busyness ≠ Meaningful Work
I’ve written about the beast of “productivity”, but I think its equally ugly stepsister is “busyness”, a word which I entirely dislike. Busyness is defined as “the state or condition of having a great deal to do”. It has become the norm and even accepted way of life to be “busy”. Somehow people find their value in being “busy”. It makes us sound important or even needed when we have a great deal to do. The real question here though is: are we busy with meaningful work or even doing the right kind of work? Even if it's good work and work we love, it might not be where we are meant to put our energies or focus. There is a drive and even a need that often rears its ugly head most especially in ministry-overfilling our time or overspending our time on the wrong things and in the wrong areas. Somehow the simplicity of doing a few things well is an art that is being lost or ignored. Burnout seems to surprise people and creep up on them. However, I see burnout as a very predictable numbers game. The more we do (and in the wrong areas), the less we do well, and less we do well creates a pileup of guilt, failure, inadequacy, and overwhelmedness. We miss our purpose and we lose time fulfilling it.
Surrendering What We Love
What keeps us from letting go? For one, what we need to let go is often something we love or that is good. Also, there’s a fear that if we let it go we’ll never get it back or the uncertainty that we’ll get in place of it won’t be as good. What is in front of us is often predictable and comfortable. Why trade the known good for the unknown better? There seems to be a trust issue here. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to, “Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” There has to be the letting go and surrendering of good things, even things we love, in order to do what we were most created to do. Also, we can’t be making decisions on just our own wants or understanding of a situation especially when the decision ignores wisdom. In a different coaching relationship, I was working with an extremely talented woman, we’ll call her Tessa, who has been growing her own coaching business. Her work has really taken off and she has lots of major goals that will take a lot of time and energy to achieve. She has the capability to achieve them, but there seem to be lots of distractions. The other dynamic of her work is that she wants her business to help supplement the income and needs of her family. That’s been her goal from the beginning. However when it came to pursuing aspects of growing this business that would bring her the most economic advantage, she was still inclined to choose the areas she loved but that paid less.
Narrowing Your Work Focus
In the last few months I’ve been reading the book 10X is Easier than 2X by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. One of my major takeaways was that people often choose minimal growth over transformational growth. The authors write, “Being 2x means you’re stuck in a finite game-a situation, perspective, objective, identity, etc. You're not expanding your freedom to be, do, and have. You’re caught up in fear and paralysis. You’re maintaining the status quo of who you now are and what you’re now doing.” Transformational (10X) growth requires a laser focus and the letting go of lots of really great things you often love so you can do what you were created to do and are passionate about. People in ministry are doing A LOT of things-many of those activities are things they love, but a good deal of them are not. See my blog, What is Your Time Worth, on how to address those items you don’t love.
When it comes to the activities of your job you do love, that's where some pruning needs to take place. Again you may love everything you’re doing, but can you do it all well and is that the best use of your time? A tool I’ve used throughout my educational career and personal life is called the Decision Matrix. This tool basically helps you evaluate specific criteria against possible solutions. In regards to our coaching clients I’ve recommended this tool as a way to make decisions about what kind of work they should pursue in regards to their ministry and/or business. Your solution criteria are your non-negotiables and parameters for your solutions. In Tessa’s case, my recommendation was to identify her priorities (solution criteria) for the type of work she was wanting to spend her time on. Below is an example of what this could look like for her. Based on her criteria and the areas she could pursue, the one that makes the most sense is coaching. It meets all of her criteria. Tutoring and blog writing are a close second. Based on her criteria, speaking is clearly not the best route to pursue at this point. Often our emotions and our own desires can get in the way of making clear, informed decisions. A tool like the Decision Matrix helps us operate out of facts and data instead of our own preferences or feelings.
Setting 10x Goals instead of 2X Goals
After narrowing in on where you should focus your time and energies, then it’s time to make some major goals around that area. As Sullivan and Hardy note, “Seemingly impossible or massive goals are highly practical because they immediately separate what works from what won’t, illuminating the few paths that have the greatest efficacy. Small goals are unable to clarify effective pathways because they are too marginal or linear from your current location.” We can’t just shoot for the predictable and easily achievable wins here. If we’re truly going to grow, then the goals need to be beyond our current reach. For our purposes, let’s say Tessa decides to focus all of her energy on coaching. In order to really successfully grow her business she needs to think big, probably bigger than she’s ever thought before. So let’s unpack what that might look like on a 2X level vs. a 10X level. In Tessa’s current situation she has one client that pays $500/month. To simply double her growth would mean going for a second client and earning $1,000/month. This would be a small victory, but if she is looking at truly growing her coaching business a 10X approach would mean she’s going to look for 10 coaching clients that pay $500 putting her at $5,000/month. From there another example of a 10X leap would be to increase her price and find clients who are willing to pay more. This would allow her to receive the same income, but also get back her time, which is an incredibly important commodity. It could allow her to do more of what she loves, like speaking engagements, without hindering her financial goals.
10X Growth in Fundraising
This same concept can be applied to a missionary’s fundraising goals. For instance let’s say a missionary needs to raise $10,000. It is way more work to try to find 10 people who would give you $1,000 versus finding 1 person who would be willing to give you a $10,000 donation. You might be thinking yeah, but I don’t know anyone who would give me $10,000. The reality is that you don’t know them yet, and let’s be honest have you been trying to look for them? It takes a whole revamp of your mindset to think in ways that are “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).
In my experience, a lot of missionaries and ministries are going for little gains instead of thinking big about how to raise the necessary funds. This results in lost time in the field and repeat support trips that often still don’t result in being fully funded. As the authors of 10X is Easier than 2X note, “If you’re shooting for 2x, you probably won’t land much farther from where you are now and you’ll exhaust enormous amounts of energy grinding inches forward. There’s not enough distinction to force clarity about which direction to go. There’s also not enough difference to discern what among the many things you’re now doing is ultimately a waste.” A 10X focus eliminates small gains and wasted time. It forces you to pursue what is most valuable in order to reach the goal. In the table below I’ve broken down what this might look like for a missionary trying to become fully funded.
I get that this kind of thinking might feel lofty or even a bit intimidating. The truth is you won’t know if it’s possible if you don’t try. According to Sullivan and Hardy, “Almost nothing works for 10X growth, which means if you take it seriously, you’ll have to be a lot more honest about everything you’re doing now.” Moving towards these kinds of goals means risk and even failure, but it also can mean seeing incredible gains and growth in your work and ministry. We serve a BIG God, and I think He loves seeing us step out with BIG goals, dreams, and faith. We can stick with the comfortable, easy wins or we can see Him do things we’ve never seen before. In Isaiah 43:18-19, He tells us to, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making all things new.” What is the new thing he wants to do in you and your ministry? I hope you are willing to take the step of faith to find out!
An easy next step would be to download our Decision Matrix Template in order to make a decision about what kind of work or goals you should focus your energy and time on. Then use this simple 10X Chart to outline your first BIG 10X goal. Shoot me an email sara@magnifymissions.com when you’ve hit your first 10X win, so I can celebrate with you!
Sara Payne is first and foremost a beloved child of God. She likes to surround herself with people who love Jesus, be out in nature, work out, cook, and drink delicious cups of coffee. She is married to Ryan, an amazing man who loves Jesus, and also is (in her opinion) a rock star with a band called Attaboy. They have one beautiful little girl named Isabella, who is a joy and delight! Sara’s first job after college was as a missionary serving overseas in Budapest, Hungary. She then transitioned into being a full time English teacher in a PBL school on the south side of Indianapolis, IN. There her mission field was high school students. After getting married, she worked for Magnify Learning as a Branding Manager and PBL facilitator. Since becoming a mama, she now works for Magnify Missions where she is able to combine her love of missions and teaching to serve and coach missionaries around the world.
